


Sorry

by Hillbilly_Leprechaun



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Depression, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-18 13:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13682262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hillbilly_Leprechaun/pseuds/Hillbilly_Leprechaun
Summary: Jack is once again unable to gain a shot at his acting career, but this is too much. He breaks down.





	1. What Happened?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's/Single Awareness Day!
> 
> "Sorry" this isn't so happy

“… Sorry, but you’re just not what we’re looking for.”

 

The sixth director in just two weeks slams the door of opportunity in Jack’s face. He nods without saying anything. The director might have said something else, but Jack hadn’t been listening. It was for an upcoming Christmas commercial. Karen tells him there will be more chances and then takes him on a shopping spree. He doesn’t want as much, and he doesn’t shop around with the same amount of giddiness. As it nears New Year’s, Karen gets Jack an opening for an overenthusiastic tap dancer. However, she fails to take into account that he hasn’t exactly been enthusiastic lately.

 

“… Sorry, but you’re just not what we’re looking for.”

 

Karen apologizes in her fashion, taking him shopping. He buys a couple scarves, but he doesn’t seem too particularly excited about either of them. A week later, Karen comments on how he seems to be growing a little chubby. Jack answers in possibly the most nonchalant voice she’s ever heard him speak.

 

“Oh, yeah. I stopped hitting the gym.”

 

“You stopped going to the gym!?”

 

Jack shrugs. “What’s the use?”

 

On the first week of February, Karen had been upset with her poodle not coming with her to lunch. She’d stopped by his café to find it closed. Inside her friend’s apartment, Jack had been sulking in a chair – but he hadn’t had much energy to do anything about it. To Karen’s shock, he turns down shopping.

 

On Valentine’s Day, no one in the gang has a date. Will and Grace are sitting at their table, indifferently looking through the tabloids. Karen is sipping a margarita on the sofa. When Grace slips away because a guy she likes calls her, Jack walks in a couple seconds later. He walks through Will’s apartment as if on autopilot, paying zilch to the people around him. He rounds up to the freezer and pulls out a carton of mocha fudge ice cream. He grabs a spoon, pries the lid off and starts eating. As he makes his way through half the living room, Will speaks up.

 

“Prepping for your role as ice cream junkie?”

 

Jack stares at him with an expression mixed of pain, sorrow and anger. Without a word, he leaves the apartment. The door doesn’t shut, and Will scoffs.

 

“Probably has some hot date.”

 

“No, Jackie hasn’t been with a guy in two months.” Karen reports from the couch.

 

“Is he sick?” Will asks as a joke.

 

“No, just depressed.”


	2. Let Me Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's showing more signs of his depression. How low will he sink?

It has been a week since Jack has gone anywhere near Will’s apartment. Sometimes, Karen can catch him in his apartment, but the younger man’s eyes have lost their sparkle. She tries everything she can think of – dancing to Britney; a Cher tribute concert; stalking Kevin Bacon – without expressing real emotions, but nothing has worked. Every time she brings up a new activity, he looks up to her with sad eyes and a dead tone.

 

“Sorry, Kare Bear. I don’t feel like it today.”

 

Followed by, “When _will_ you feel like it, Poodle?”

 

And ending with a shrug. “Not today.”

 

It’s the most she can get him to say. Will feels bad about teasing Jack about the ice cream. He had wanted to apologize near the beginning of the week, but he’s also got feelings that it’s just one big joke at his expense. Will has tried scoping out guys and going on dates, but they have ended early by him either talking about Jack or calling one Jack. Karen manages to pull him into a shopping outlet when he leaves the building in search of snacks. It alarms her how skinny he has gotten, but she doesn’t voice this opinion. Instead, she brings him to a rack of designer jeans and lifts them to his frame.

 

“Look at these, Sweetie! Flower design. You can be in a music video!”

 

“Meh.”

 

He lets out, walking away to sit on a bench. Karen continues to shop, grabbing choices and showing them to Jack. He is uninterested, and, by the end of the spree, he has nothing for himself. While Karen waits in the check-out line, Jack leaves the store emptyhanded. He returns to his building, catching Will’s gaze when the older man steps out of the elevator.

 

“Someone finally let you out of the cage?” Will questions his friend.

 

Jack lets out a quick, humorless laugh. “Karen dragged me.”

 

His voice sounds so hollow, like it’s lost somewhere. Will winces at the sound, but he tries to stop Jack again before he shuts the door completely.

 

“Wait! We, uh, don’t see each other much.” He silently curses himself for sounding like a lovesick teenage girl. “Wanna come over to my place? Watch movies? You can borrow some clothes? We can eat pizza and ice cream.”

 

Jack stares at him through the crack in his door for the longest time. In the end, he simply sighs and shuts the door completely. Inside, he bypasses the living room and heads straight for the kitchen for some Vodka. With the comings of feeling devastated, Will can’t force himself into Jack’s apartment, or even his own. Instead, he slumps to the floor with his back against the wall. He stares at jack’s door as if he were trying to remove it altogether with his mind. He knows Jack hasn’t landed any singing, dancing or acting gigs. He hasn’t even auditioned. It scares him.

 

_Jack seemed so hesitant when he talked to me. It was like part of him wanted to come over, but a larger part of him just shoved those feelings down. It’s like high school, but he’s bullying himself._

 

Will falls asleep with these thoughts circulating in his head. Grace wakes him by nudging with her foot around six in the evening. Will stares between her and Jack’s door, and Grace helps him to his feet. She studies him rather than ask outright, and she nods, glancing over to the door as well. She carries her things into the apartment. When she returns, Will has slumped down again. She slides down as well, grabbing his hand and watching out for Jack. He doesn’t come back out.

 

Another week passes, and neither Will nor Grace has seen Jack. The man in question has visited Elliot, giving his son his beloved Cher doll. Elliot had protested, but Jack had insisted, saying it is his favorite possession and Elliot is his favorite person. He has also written over all his valuables over to Karen, to do with as she pleases. A few other papers had been written up, and a lawyer other than Will – not even in Will’s firm – has dropped by to officiate the documents. Jack’s sudden depression has warranted a pseudo-depression in Will and Karen. Grace has been less catty, but she hasn’t thought too much of it. Karen barges into their apartment with a frenzied look on her face while Will is getting ready for work.

 

“Wilma, I’m worried about Jackie. He’s usually so greedy, and now he’s so… selfless.”

 

“I’m worried about him too.” He admits, fixing his tie. “I’ve never seen him this down… I’ve barely even seen him as is.”

 

“Karen, Will.” Grace interrupts. “We can all go over after work and check on him, okay?”

 

The other two agree, albeit reluctantly. Around ten-thirty, Karen receives a distress call from Elliot. The boy says he can’t get ahold of his dad; he tells Karen about the Cher doll. Alarmed, Karen leaves the office without a word to Grace. She makes Driver take her to Will’s office, and she barges in on him while he is with a client.

 

“Karen? Why are”

 

“Jackie’s in trouble. He _gave_ Elliot his Cher doll.”

 

Her words plus the intensity in her eyes causes Will to end the meeting early. He grabs his jacket and runs after her. He shouts to his boss that he’s taking a lunch break as the two barrel through the office. Driver steps on it, screeching up the apartment complex as though running from fire. Once at the correct floor, Karen works on picking Jack’s lock. Will runs into his apartment to find something to help. As he scours the house, managing to look toward the balcony at just the right moment. His heart jumps down his throat. Jack is leaning against the brick wall, but his feet are standing on the rail. Carefully, Will opens the door and steps out.

 

“You’re supposed to be at work.” Jack breathes.

 

“You’re supposed to be on the ground.” Will’s breath hitches.

 

“I will be.” Jack promises, staring at the busy streets below him.

 

“Jack… this isn’t the way.”

 

“Sure it is. I’m so screwed up. It’s for the best.”

 

“You’re _not_ screwed up.” Will determines, inching closer. “You’re quirky and unique and a damn good dancer. But you’re not screwed up.”

 

“I left you my apartment and my savings.”

 

“What?”

 

“In my will.”

 

“I don’t _want_ your apartment or your savings.”

 

“Then what the hell do you want?” Jack asks, moving to walk off the ledge. “Just take it.”

 

Jack lets go of the wall, and Will reacts. He reaches out and grabs Jack’s arm, pulling him for all he’s worth. They hear the sirens of the city as Will wraps his legs around the railings, and he keeps his arms wrapped around Jack.


End file.
